Stop Playing Small to Stay Liked
I used to think the safest way to move through the world was to keep myself approachable. Downplay the wins. Shrink the stories. Laugh off the things that actually meant everything to me.
When my first book came out, I told almost no one. If somebody asked, I brushed it off. “Oh, it’s just a little project.” But it wasn’t little. I had written after long workdays, typed through exhaustion when the house was finally quiet, and put parts of myself into words I didn’t even know I had.
Why hide that? Because I wanted to be liked. I tried to be relatable.
Relatable sounds sweet. Relatable sounds safe. But if I’m honest, relatability was just another word for small. And small wasn’t getting me anywhere.
I realized that the people I admire, the ones who inspire me, don’t dilute their stories so no one feels left out. They don’t apologize for working hard or act like their success was a fluke. They stand in it fully, not as a brag but as proof. Proof of what’s possible.
Meanwhile, I was standing in the corner with my gold, calling it pocket change.
Here’s what I’ve learned since:
When you minimize your wins, you teach people to see them as small.
When you pretend your success was “luck,” you erase your own grit.
When you chase likability, you trade growth for comfort.
I’m done apologizing for becoming.
And if you’re brushing off the thing you’ve worked hard for, the degree, the new habit, the business, you need to be done too.
You did that. It matters. And it deserves to be seen.
So maybe today’s reminder is simple. Stop playing small to stay liked.
Because you weren’t made to stay hidden.
You were made to rise.
—Shaunté