Life Lessons from My Four Grandparents at 40
Resilience, Love, and Legacy
Resilience, Love, and Legacy
I’ve always been captivated by stories — not the airbrushed versions we post on social media, but the raw, gritty, and heartfelt ones that reveal the truth of a well-lived life. At 40 years old, with all four of my grandparents still alive and thriving, I know this isn’t just a blessing — it’s a responsibility. It’s an invitation to reflect, to learn, and to share their stories with my kids, with you, and with anyone who’s willing to listen. Their lives are a masterclass in resilience, love, and legacy — lessons we all need.
The Quiet Power of a Jamaican Matriarch
My maternal grandmother, Mavis — or “Mommy” as we call her — is 86 years old and every bit the Jamaican powerhouse she’s always been. She’s not one to mince words; when Mavis speaks, it’s because there’s something worth saying. Her quiet strength commands attention in a way no loud voice ever could.
Her life hasn’t been easy. She endured an abusive relationship before meeting her current husband, a man who redefined what love and partnership could look like for her and for us. Instead of letting pain harden her, Mavis chose healing and resilience. Her strength isn’t loud or flashy — it’s in the way she kept moving forward, one day at a time, without letting the scars of the past define her.
Her husband, LJ, my step-grandfather, has been a steady presence in our lives since my mother was a child. He’s proof that family isn’t just about blood but about showing up, day after day. His love is quiet but consistent. From him, I’ve learned one of life’s simplest but most profound truths: love is a consistent action.
A Marriage Built on Longevity, Not Connection
My paternal grandparents have been married for an astonishing 64 years — a milestone that demands respect. But their relationship also teaches me what I don’t want. Their marriage is deeply traditional, rooted in duty rather than connection. My grandmother, Doris, is disciplined and dutiful, running their household like a well-oiled machine. On the other hand, my grandfather is a man of few words, leaving her to shoulder the weight of their shared life.
They don’t take vacations, share hobbies, or binge Netflix together. Their partnership is built on routine, not romance. While I honor their union's endurance, it’s also shown me the importance of finding joy in partnership—not just surviving life together but truly living it.
Still, their individual stories inspire me. Doris has traced our family’s roots back to slavery and taken it upon herself to preserve the land we own in North Carolina — a legacy of pride and resilience she’s passed down to me. My grandfather Ulysses' story is equally remarkable. At 70, when most people think about retirement, he returned to college and started a funeral home. His life reminds me that it’s never too late to reinvent yourself and chase a new dream.
Living Lessons in Legacy
Having all four of my grandparents alive and thriving at this stage of my life feels like sitting in a living classroom. Each of them has given me invaluable lessons:
I learned from Mavis that resilience is a quiet, steady strength. It’s not about erasing the pain but healing from it and choosing to move forward.
From her husband, LJ, I’ve learned that family is who shows up for you, consistently and without conditions.
From Doris, I’ve learned the power of knowing your roots and preserving your history.
From my grandfather, Ulysses, I’ve learned that you’re never too old to chase a new dream, pivot, or start fresh.
For You, the Reader
My grandparents' stories prove that life is rarely neat or easy. Joy and pain often walk hand in hand, and resilience doesn’t mean having it all figured out. It’s finding a way forward, step by step. Their lives remind me — and I hope they remind you — that even the messiest chapters of our lives matter. They all contribute to the legacy we leave behind.
Carrying Their Stories Forward
At this age, I’m deeply aware of how rare and precious this gift is. I don’t take it for granted. I’m listening to every story, asking every question, and doing everything I can to ensure my kids see their great-grandparents as more than just titles. I want them to know the strength, the love, and the hard-won lessons that define these incredible people.
Because one day, it will be up to us to carry their stories forward—to honor their struggles, celebrate their victories, and ensure their legacy lives on.
Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. My grandparents’ lives have shown me that. And I hope, through their stories, you see that too.
Thank you for reading! I’d love to connect with you. Visit www.shaunteyoung.com and follow me on Instagram.
If you’d like to read another article about my family, check out this one:
Parenting Through the Lens of Our Past
Why Remembering Our Childhood Mattersmedium.com