It Takes a Village
How to Build a Strong, Supportive Community That Has Your Back
How to Build a Strong, Supportive Community That Has Your Back
Let’s not sugarcoat it: things feel heavy right now. This country is split, and the recent election feels like another wedge driving us further apart. It’s not just the big, noisy arguments on the news or online — it’s the way division sneaks into everyday life, even our closest relationships.
In times like these, the easy thing to do is pull away. Stick to people who think like you, agree with you, and won’t challenge you. But that’s also the lonely way. The truth is, no matter how divided things seem, we still need each other. Maybe more than ever.
Building Your Village is Essential in a Divided World
I’m not saying it’s easy to build community when the world feels broken. It’s not. It’s awkward and uncomfortable, and sometimes it feels like an uphill climb. But your village — the people who show up for you when life is messy and uncertain — is worth it. These are the people who remind you that even when everything feels chaotic, there’s still good out there.
I’m not talking about vague acquaintances or people you only see on social media. I mean the ones who text you just to check in or show up with a bottle of tequila when you’re having a week. They’re the people you can count on, even when you don’t see eye to eye.
Creating a Support System That Truly Has Your Back
This isn’t about pretending everything is perfect or sidestepping the tough stuff. It’s about finding real ways to connect with those around you, even when life feels complicated.
Start Small and Keep It Real
You don’t need to host a block party or join a dozen clubs to build a community. My village started with a boozy book club. I love cocktails and books, so I put out a casual invite on Instagram for anyone interested. That’s how @booked_n_boozy was born. Six years later, these women are my people. It didn’t happen overnight, but it started with me showing up for something I love — and inviting others to join.
Lead with Kindness, Not Agreement
It’s tempting to cut ties with anyone who doesn’t share your views. And listen, some boundaries are necessary (more on that in a second). But you don’t have to agree on everything to treat someone with kindness. Being respectful doesn’t mean you’re compromising your beliefs; it means you’re prioritizing humanity over division.
Show Up When It Matters
Villages aren’t built on grand gestures but on showing up. Help a neighbor move. Bring coffee to a friend who’s drowning in deadlines. These small actions remind people that you’re someone they can count on and that trust grows over time.
Draw Boundaries Without Burning Bridges
Let’s be real: being part of a community doesn’t mean accepting harmful behavior or turning a blind eye to disrespect. If someone crosses a line, taking a step back is more than okay. Setting boundaries doesn’t have to be a big, dramatic declaration — it’s simply a way to protect your peace and ensure your relationships remain healthy and supportive.
Celebrate the Good Stuff
It’s easy to overlook the wins when everything feels like a struggle. Don’t. Celebrate the little victories — a new job, a personal milestone, or even just making it through a rough week. Joy is contagious, and your village should reflect that.
The Life-Changing Power of Finding Your People
Here’s the thing about building a village: it’s not just about surviving hard times. It’s about creating a space where you feel seen, supported, and maybe even hopeful.
A few months ago, everything that could go wrong did. My daughter was home sick, the Wi-Fi went out while I was on a work deadline, and my husband was stuck at the office dealing with his own chaos. I was juggling emails on my phone, trying to soothe a feverish kid, and wondering how we would get through the day. That’s when my neighbor showed up with dinner — completely unprompted. And my friend? She grabbed my daughter’s homework from school so she wouldn’t fall behind.
That’s what a village looks like — it’s people stepping in when your plate is already too full.
It’s not always easy, especially in times like these, but it’s worth it. So, here’s my challenge: reach out to someone this week. Maybe it’s an old friend you’ve lost touch with or inviting a new neighbor over for a glass of wine. It doesn’t have to be big, but it must be real.
Catch up with me at www.shaunteyoung.com or on Instagram.