Are You In A Toxic Relationship?
Yea, you are.
Yea, you are.
No one ever really teaches you how to be in a relationship. So, for most of the planet, it’s a case of trial and error. Unfortunately, this means that more likely than not, you’ll find yourself in a couple of bad relationships before you discover what works for you.
Most times, we come away from these bad relationships with baggage that affect the next. These leftovers can also affect how aware you are of problems in your new relationship. You could even find yourself not minding things that could be very harmful to your wellbeing.
You could be in a toxic relationship and not even know it! When most people think of toxic relationships, they picture physical violence, bad displays of jealousy, and raised voices. But that isn’t always the case. That isn’t how most toxic relationships start. Sometimes, it’s a slow and silent descent into the problem.
Luckily, there are signs. If you can relate to the following four situations, it may be time to take another look at your relationship.
In toxic relationships, respect, trust, and affection are compromised. So how do you know if you’re in a toxic relationship?
You Find Yourselves Keeping A Scorecard
It could be you or your partner, or both of you. If you find that there is a tendency for someone to keep blaming the other for past mistakes, it’s unhealthy. This situation will end up becoming a case of who has hurt the other the most. In addition, you’ll find that it is used to manipulate and only serves to distract from whatever issues you two are presently dealing with.
If this behavior continues, you’ll find that both of you will spend all the energy in your relationship proving that you are less bad than each other. The result is that you’ll have no time left to spend being right for each other. A much better alternative to this is to solve issues as they happen. Unless you can prove they are absolutely connected, there is no need to bring up old issues.
There’s A Clear Or Subtle Problem With Communication
If you find that you would rather drop hints than state precisely what is wrong, it’s unhealthy. One of the signs of a good relationship is that communication is open and comfortable. If one partner has to use hints or passive aggression, then you’re on the toxic side of the spectrum.
It should be safe for you or your partner to express anger or insecurity in your relationship. Please do your best to share how you feel while letting your partner do the same.
There Are Constant Threats To End The Relationship
A relationship where one partner constantly threatens to end the relationship is unhealthy. These threats do not need to be outright but could be inferred. For example, saying things like “You’re cold, and I cannot be in a relationship with a cold person” is a threat. It leads to emotional blackmail and causes a lot of problems.
Both partners in a relationship should understand that they can communicate without it, which leads to the relationship’s future. This communication is vital in strengthening your commitment to one another.
One Partner Blames The Other For Their Own Emotions
Placing your partner in a position where they are responsible for your emotions at all times is unhealthy. It shows a lack of personal boundaries and breeds resentment. Your partner is not the reason you are having a shitty day, so there’s no reason to get mad at them for it. As a solution, do your best to take responsibility for your emotions. Your partner should do the same. That way, you can both choose to support each other rather than feel like supporting each other is a job.
Being in a toxic relationship can be mentally, emotionally, and physically draining. Sometimes, both partners can salvage things, especially if they detect them on time. However, at other times, you may have to prioritize yourself and get out of that situation. This is also okay, and you’ll find that you’re in a better position for it.
Best of luck!!!