7 Signs of Toxic Friends
Friendship or Frienemy — How Do I Know?
Friendship or Frienemy — How Do I Know?
Have you ever heard the song that says something like ‘friends are extraordinary people who make the world go round?’ Well, they are, unless they are not. We all know that the people we surround ourselves with directly impact our mood, emotional responses, and overall mental health. No one should be an island, and you need people in your corner, but they need to be the right people.
Sometimes, things are not so easy. We meet people whose friendship isn’t healthy for us. It is evident from the jump with some of these people and you can quickly distance yourself. With others, however, it can be so subtle. Your toxic friend may not look or act like Regina George. Some mean girls appear very nice at first glance.
Are your friends bigging you up or bringing you down? If you find yourself a little bit confused, then evaluate the below.
1. They Make You Feel Less Than
As much as you love your friend, how often do you notice the subtle insults? They could do this by always drawing attention to your insecurities. Or they could try to discourage you from following your dreams by telling you that they are unrealistic for someone like you.
2. They Always Put The Blame On You
In our relationships with other people, mistakes often happen. However, if you’re in a friendship where the blame is always put on you, it may be time to reevaluate. A toxic friend will be unable to own up to their own mistakes and apologize for them. They’ll instead make you feel like you’re always the one who needs to change.
3. They’re Controlling
Most people only look out for controlling behaviors in their romantic relationships. That means that controlling friends often get away with a LOT. They can, however, be equally as damaging, so don’t be lax about them. For example, if your friend always insists on choosing where you should go and what you do, you should watch out.
4. They Isolate You
This one often comes as a result of the controlling behavior above. A toxic friend may try to isolate you from other friends and your loved ones. They may also try to discourage you from making new friends or even a partner. They’ll hate the idea of you having your attention, time, and energy elsewhere. You may not notice immediately. It’ll be like one day you woke up, and all your other family and friends have drifted away.
5. They Play Too Much
Every friendship includes some gentle teasing. But if your friend constantly plays cruel practical jokes on you in public, that might be a red flag, especially if they try to make it look like you don’t have a sense of humor for not finding it funny. Friends are not supposed to deliberately humiliate you for entertainment.
6. They’re Emotionally Inconsistent
It’s not always butterflies and rainbows. However, if you’re constantly worried that your friend who is joyful now could become furious at any moment, watch out. You might need to take a step back. This is a lousy dynamic that will wreak havoc on your mental health. You’ll never be able to be fully relaxed around them.
7. They Emotionally Black Mail You
Does your friend withhold affection or offer “conditional love?” No one should be friends with you strictly because of what you can do for them. In a healthy friendship, your friend will understand that availability varies and will communicate openly about it.
There’s most certainly something to be said about your parent’s warning “You are who your friends are.” Toxic friends are just plain bad for you. So, if you find that your friendship is exhibiting these characteristics, it might be time to take a step back.
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